Hero Concept: Dipper and Mabel

[Prince_Tamatoa_III]

This is my third hero concept: Dipper and Mabel!

Dipper and Mabel

Description: With their Journal #3 and a grappling hook, they unveil the secrets of enemies and targets their weaknesses.

Team: Blue
Role: Damage
Stars:
Position: Mid
Basic attack: They throw torches, burning enemies over 3 seconds
Victory: They clap each other’s hands
Defeat: Mabel faints, Dipper collapses

Skills (All skills are set at level 1)

(SP) White Skill: Zombie Chant ( Fantastic Damage) (Dipper reads the curse from the journal)

Dipper reads a curse that sends in zombies, cursing enemies for 10 seconds. The zombies deal a damage per enemy hit and also knocks back all enemies hit.

The curse has a chance to fail if all enemies are higher than the skill level.

knockbackamt: 500

(SP)Green Skill: Flying Attacks ( Normal Damage)

Mabel uses her grappling hook to swing towards the frontline enemies, dealing x damage and stunning enemies on impact for 6 seconds and knocking back enemies. Dipper then leaps to the middle of enemies, stunning them for 4 seconds and dealing y damage . If enemies are stunned by Dipper and Mabel, their current stun duration is increased by 2 seconds. They will keep activating the skill until they are knocked back.

Cooldown: 9 seconds, knockbackamt: 250

(SP)Blue Skill: Knit a Sweater

Mabel knits 2 sweaters, one for herself and one for the weakest ally, granting the ally and themselves 200 energy and a shield with z HP that lasts for 7 seconds.

Cooldown: 10 seconds

Purple Skill: Secrets Revealed!

Dipper studies enemies for 7 seconds every 12 seconds. Enemies have a chance to be identified on Journal #3. “Identified” enemies are granted 1 stack of “Weakness”. If Dipper studies a studied enemy, allies can now deal 20% more damage to the studied enemy for 12 seconds in addition to the stacks of “Weakness” applied.

The maximum stacks of “weakness” that can be applied is 5.

The study and recognition has a chance to fail if the enemy is higher than the skill level.

Cooldown: 12 seconds

Red Skill: A Discovery! ( Fantastic Damage)

Dipper and Mabel can deal 20% damage per stack of “Weakness” enemies have instead of the usual 10%. If any enemy with “Weakness” disables Dipper and Mabel, the bonus from this skill is shared among all allies and Dipper and Mabel can heal for 50% of the damage dealt by all allies until the disable ends.

When enemies are burned by Dipper and Mabel’s basic attacks, they lose 10% of the damage dealt as reality and their basic attacks deal an extra 10% of their own basic damage as fantastic damage

The extra damage from “Weakness” has a chance to fail if enemies are above the skill level.

• Basic Damage
• Max HP
• Armor

Friendship Disks:

Basil: A Mystery

More Normal Damage; Damage Heals

Disk Level: Enemies are dealt additional normal damage to studied enemies, a HP is healed to allies who damage a studied enemy (+1 level: + damage dealt to studied enemies, +heal HP)

Disk Stars: Allies have a 20% chance to super crit instead of normal crit studied enemies

(+1 Star: +20% chance to super crit)

Huey, Dewey, Louie: Adventure Guidebook

Enemies with “Weakness” Debuffed

Disk Level: Enemies who have “Weakness” lose basic damage
Enemies who disable Dipper and Mabel lose skill power and 50% attack speed (+1 level: + skill power, basic damage)

Disk Stars: Enemies with “Weakness” have a 20% chance to be randomly disabled for 5 seconds
Studied enemies lose 10% of their armor (including stolen armor)

(+1 star: +20% chance, +10% armor lost, +1 second disable)

[Imagineer_V]

Adding an image is not hard and it shows that this concept was made with little effort and it is lazy. If you can add an image you should.

Your format needs some work. I actually wonder if you look at other concepts and my concept guide, which I will link below for your convenience. If you did, it would help you a lot.

Missing the Entrance animation

Winning Pose

Victory

Dying Pose

Defeat

White Skill: Zombie Chant ( Fantastic Damage)

Dipper reads a curse that sends in zombies, cursing enemies until all zombies leave the battlefield. Zombies also scare enemies for 5 seconds and damage is dealt and additional damage is dealt over 5 seconds.

The debuffs have a chance to fail if all enemies are higher than the skill level.

When do the Zombies leave then? Missing variables where they should be. Scare is weak. Call it damage over time, which is also weak. Debuffs are not even applied in the skill so where does that come from?

Green Skill: Flying Attacks ( Normal Damage)

Dipper goes to a coding machine, summoning Rumble McSkirmish to fight for him. He fights with his fists and flies to the enemy who last damaged Dipper and Mabel. Mabel also uses her grappling hook to swing to the frontline enemies, dealing damage. If Rumble is charmed, he will leave combat once he attacks Dipper and Mabel. Otherwise, Dipper will reset the battlefield after 12 seconds of Rumble’s summoning and take only 1% of his max HP as damage. All enemies are also repositioned to their original position.

This description is WAY TOO LONG and very HARD TO READ. Missing variables. I do not even know what is going on because it is not clear and does not really fit into how the skills are phrased in the game and its mechanics.

Blue Skill: Knit a Sweater

Mabel knits 2 sweaters, one for herself and one for the weakest ally, granting them 200 energy and a shield with a HP that lasts for 7 seconds.

Missing variables.

Purple Skill: Secrets Revealed! ( Fantastic Damage)

Mabel charms the closest enemies for 7 seconds while Dipper studies them for the same duration. After studying enemies, they are granted 2 stacks of “Weakness”. Dipper then burns Journal #3 and throws it to enemies in an area, dealing damage instantly and damage over 5 seconds. The Journal reappears in front of enemies 10 seconds after all damage is dealt, scaring or stunning them for 5 seconds.

Enemies with “Weakness” are dealt 10% more damage and can only have a maximum of 5 stacks of “Weakness”.

This skill can only reactivate 10 seconds after the book reappears.

Description is WAY TOO LONG and HARD TO READ. Purple skills do not include new animations like this, much less apply stacks. Too much is going on here. Once again missing variables.

Red Skill: Beautiful Knowledge

Way to much going on. Hard to read. Missing variables.

Disks are decent enough, but hard to read and the format is not good.

Overall I give this a 3/10, and that is being nice. Please look at good concepts and concept makers to help you. You will only get better if you take this feedback and actually apply it, and not ignore it because I am giving similar stuff yet again. We want to help you, but you also have to help yourself and reach out to people, and that does not mean we are going to do it for you. You have a lot to work on and improve.

Here is the concept guide.

[PepsiFan25]

You need a picture of Dipper and Mabel

[Miraculous_Lance]

Yes. A picture makes the player envision the character more clearly.

[Prince_Tamatoa_III]

OK, I’ve had a clear look at your topic about hero concepts. I will definitely try to apply these in the future even now! I’ll come back to update it soon. Thanks for your descriptive feedback. I appreciate it. Happy Friday everyone!

[Prince_Tamatoa_III]

Update: Added all extra FYI stuff cause it’s important for a hero to survive(e.g skill cooldown duration)

Corrected all mistakes made and all variables should be added.

[Lucky-Oswald]

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

zombies deal 503 damage

Variable…

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

The curse has a chance to fail if all enemies are higher than the skill level.

if all enemies are above Level X.*

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

Mabel uses her grappling hook to swing towards the frontline enemies, dealing 1005 damage and stunning enemies on impact for 6 seconds and knocking back enemies. Dipper then leaps to the middle of enemies, stunning them for 4 seconds and dealing 578 damage . If enemies are stunned by Dipper and Mabel, their current stun duration is increased by 2 seconds. They then return to their normal attacking position.

Two variables needed…

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

35786

Variable…

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

20% chance to super crit

So, it will go up to 120%? Too OP.

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

Enemies who have “Weakness” lose basic damage

Variable…

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

20%

Up to 120%? And, what is the disable?

---

[Prince_Tamatoa_III]

First, the disk max stars is now 5. Not 6. It’s like Robin Hood’s Nick disk. And second I don’t know what variable is. Define variable. Unless the change I made is OK.

[Lucky-Oswald]

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

now 5. Not 6

5 x 20 = 100. And, I was adding with your other 20%.

@Prince_Tamatoa_III

Define variable. Unless the change I made is OK.

No, the change wasn’t ok.

It should be:

Dealing X Damage.

[Imagineer_V]

I literally defined a variable in the concept guide

[Prince_Tamatoa_III]

OK. I looked at it.

[Prince_Tamatoa_III]

OK. Should be OK now. I think. I replaced the numbers.