An ORCA-STRA 
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Why did the man put his umbrella away and open his wallet?
Cas he was hoping for some change in the weather 
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Here is a couple for @PawpsicleSticks What does a 
clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds!
Also
Have you ever tried to eat a clock?
It’s very time consuming
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Thanks @Drone_IX & here’s one for your Avatar the thingamabob aka a corkscrew.
Q. What dance do corkscrews do?
A. The Twist…
Have a nice day & thanks for reading. 
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Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because their all dead!
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That’s like saying
“Why can’t T-Rexes clap?”
“Because they’re all extinct”
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No, the answer to yours is:
Because their itty bitty hands cannot reach each other… 
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I am tired of waiting for someone with scream canisters to get here!!
I cannot cantain myself!!
Maybe yall just gonna tell me to can it but if you do, I will just scream
breathes in deeply
Ok I am done now 
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Q. What did the Robber say to the 
clock?
A. Hands Up!
You know we call our 
dog 
Rolex, since he’s a really good watchdog!
Q. What happens when you annoy a clock?
A. It gets ticked off.
And lastly
Q. Why did the 
girl sit on her watch?
A. She wanted to be on time.
Thanks for reading 
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Not sure what I just stumbled into. I have not seen this topic before. Seems like a little comedy club or the like. Let’s see if I got something for you all.
A man walks into a pub and he sees a pirate with an eye patch, a peg leg and a hook. The man is intrigued by the many stories such a person would have and so he sits down next to the pirate and asks them some questions.
The man first asks, “Wow, you must have some adventurre stories to tell! Mind telling me how you lost your leg?” The pirate replies, “Aye, Me matey and I were atop the crows nest and I feel off into the ocean, before me crew fished me up a shark bit it off in one go.”
The man says, “Wow that’s scary! How’d you lose your hand?” The pirate replies, “I was going after ole Captain Kidd to get his legendary loot, when on the search I found another pirate by the name of Captain Silver Beard. We had a clash of our cutlasses and I was de victor, but not before ole Silver Beard got me hand.”
The man truly encapsulated by the pirate’s tales replies “Wow that’s amazing! How did you lose your eye?” The pirate responds, “A bird pooped in it.”
Taken aback by the very brief and uninteresting story the man asks, “You lost your eye because a bird pooped in it?” The pirate responds with, “Nope, it was the first day with me hook!”
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Thanks for the funny story & telling it fits right in with hero Jack Sparrow, good one!
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I could answer that. 
it called a scream canister. From Monsters Inc.
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Kinokan said it was a “Scream Canister” from Monsters Inc. (2001) It is the device which collects screams from the kids the monsters scare in order to power everything in Monstropolis.
You can see this used in Mike Wazowski’s blue skill which scares enemies when used.
In game it is a badge that gives +999 HP and +999 Armor.
I’m really glad I asked kinokan about their avatar because I thought it was a couple of yellow double A batteries!
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I like dis, I really like dis a lot. I’m so happy u made a joke 4 my avatar.
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…oh my… Wait…
Him? Did Kinokan say they were a he or are you assuming??
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My bad, so sorry please forgive me I corrected already.
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