Hello all, Kinokan here for possibly the last time. I am here telling you all that as of today I will be stepping away from Disney Heroes Battle Mode.
This game has been amazing and while I cannot agree 100% of how PB has handled certain aspects, they have done a phenomenal job on it. That being said as time went on the game felt more and more like a chore each and everyday and what kept me going throughout it all was the amazing guild I had in S4, called Casual Heroes. I joined that guild not even two weeks into playing the game and through my own studies of the mechanics of the game, rose up in the ranks and found myself a Champion on the game who had fun and meaningful conversations about game knowledge and helped better the many players of the guild. We had gone through two leaders before me. The original had become our weakest member and no longer abided by his own rules. After months of waiting for them to hit a week of inactivity, we finally wrestled control of the guild shortly after the start of the new year.
The next leader was amazing. They were firm and cracked down on enforcing rules and made sure we got stronger and efficient. However the micromanaging nature of theirs lead them to taking a lot of stress and burden upon themselves and finally cracked under the pressure and being called out for being out of line. Leaving myself as the unexpected new ruler.
At first, I took the mantle with pride and optimism. I quickly learned over the next month of my own naivete. Before and after the previous leader left we had a mass exodus and constant turnover of new players leaving us hovering around the 40 member mark. We eventually gained our footing and got back to close to full membership. However the cracks had been forming for sometime.
The newest surge difficulty had pushed those cracks into further fractures and I had many people reach out to me saying that a good number of core players were thinking of leaving the guild if I did not cracked down on participation from the newcomers. As some of you who follow me are aware I have my snarky streaks but I never want to come across as vindictive, or mean. I like to help and understand people, often seeing the good in everyone at the cost of ignoring the bad. Now I don’t want anyone to come down on those members as I am my own person and accept full responsibility for my actions and agree that I was a weak leader. After a couple unnamed players left without warning to one of our biggest competitors I too finally cracked.
It was with that, that I made the decision to disband the guild I so loved and helped make alongside many unique and amazing people. I’m not asking for forgiveness, and I’m fine with people hating me for my decision, but I do not regret it. Because for myself personally the guild had already died. Gone were the chats at all hours of the night talking about our favorite liquors and the joys and burdens of parenting and what Disney meant to all of us. Gone was the camaraderie that helped me get through some difficult parts of the past year. Instead the last weeks were filled with more destructive and negative posts and judgements passed on one another, myself included. The last weeks were not the guild that I knew. It wasn’t the laid back, yet competitive nature we had made a name for ourselves on. It wasn’t the same friendly guild that I eventually got my own mother into.
It was now violated with poison and venom being hurled as intraguild politics grew and festered. Giving some personal info about myself, I have a very serious heart condition and struggle with anxiety and depression which has often times led to thoughts of suicide. I have never attempted it and never will but it does not mean the struggle still isn’t there. I don’t say this to try and win people’s sympathy and the like but only as a segway into this point.
A game should never add to such destructive thought patterns. Again I am not saying that the people of the guild made those thoughts worse but the burden of leadership did and that would be true regardless of how well you know or feel you know your fellow guild members. I don’t like the outcome of what occured but once again I do not regret it. I felt it better to let a guild die preserving what good was left with it than to give it the possibility to stray further from it’s golden age. Perhaps that is selfish of me to do but I accept that and have made my peace with it.
To any of the ex-members of Casual Heroes. I do not blame you for my actions and I will not ask for your forgiveness or friendship. My only request is that for as long as you play the game, please cherish the good times we had and keep in touch with one another and befriend one another as I know so many of you have. To PB, please consider the burden that maintaining such extensive caps and growing demands that the game asks has on the player’s mental state. Lastly to all the friends I have made on the forum/reddit and discords. Thank you for being a part of this chapter of my life. It was an experience with gaming that I hope to grow from and will remember fondly a majority of the time.
Thank you everyone and have a wonderful day.
- Kinokan
We will miss you, Kinokan. You gave good advice, you knew how things worked. Good luck in the future, I hope you find something that works out for you.
