Stitch
Intro
Reuben: Okay, Stitch, what’s the deal here? Where are my sandwiches?
Stitch: Cousin lazy! Stitch…train you!
Reuben: Training? Me? Nah, sorry, pal. I have a picnic at 8.
Stitch: Cousin no go! Stay here!
Reuben: What, you gonna say Ohama, Olaba, Oregano, we stick together or whatever?
Stitch: Ohana.
Reuben: Right. O-sparagus.
Chapter 1 begins
Jumba: 625, I genetically modified you to be exactly like Stitch.
Jumba: In fact, Stitch came AFTER you, so you should have no problem.
Jumba: But you need to lay off the sandwiches!
Reuben: Okay then. I’ll take a double ham and cheese with extra mayonnaise.
Chapter 1 ends
Jumba: First business of operation, you should be completely fireproof AND bulletproof.
Reuben: Oh, so if I were to…say…eat a lead sandwich that’s on fire, I’d think it’d taste slightly like a finely rare steak with mustard?
Jumba: No no, that is not the point! What if you were doused by flamethrower or pumped by machine gun?
Reuben: Question, is said machine gun pumping mustard? Then yes.
Chapter 2 ends
Jumba: Second thing, you are able to lift things 3,000 times your own weight?
Reuben: Are you calling me fat?
Jumba: No, but have you tried lifting anything particularly heavy?
Reuben: Oh yeah! My “Quadruple Salmon Egg Surprise”! Layers of salmon, fried eggs and horseradish! That one was at least a ton!
Jumba: I meant objects! Buildings, boulders, entire continents!!
Reuben: Oh, so my sandwich isn’t even considered into this equation?
Stitch: sigh…
Chapter 3 ends
Jumba: Wait a minute! Can you think faster than supercomputer?
Reuben: Super combo? Ohhh, I know all of em! Ham and cheese combo, triple bacon and cheese, extra olive combo, the big combo…
Jumba: Hmm…though all he knows is sandwiches, he does seem to all of them, so…I guess it counts?
Stitch: Ih.
Jumba: Wait, where did he get that sandwich?
Reuben: I always got a backup somewhere when my sandwiches aren’t around.
Jumba: Where do you even store it?
Reuben: I can’t answer that I’m afraid.
Chapter 4 ends
Stitch: Cousin fight Stitch, now!
Reuben: Woah woah woah, hey listen, bud, I don’t fight. I ain’t fit for anything, only for sandwich making and consuming.
Reuben: And I’m especially not gonna fight you, knowing how strong YOU are.
Jumba: But I made you to be just as powerful as 626, so you survive no problem!
Reuben: Oh yeah? What if the claws come out and he starts tearing holes in me?
Jumba: That is theoretical question I must ponder about.
Chapter 5 ends
Lilo: So what exactly makes you feel angry, Reuben? What makes you do bad things?
Reuben: Oh, that’s easy. Empty stomach. Don’t mess with a guy who hasn’t had his morning sandwich.
Lilo: Well, knowing you’ve worked with that stinky meanie, Gantu, you have to know something besides sandwiches!
Reuben: Ohoho, that’s a good one! He just drags me along as his personal verbal bag whenever he gets angry.
Reuben: And that…well, that…actually hurts…huh…
Lilo: Let’s just work with what we have so we don’t upset him too much, Stitch.
Stitch: Ih.
Chapter 6 ends
Reuben: Hey, wait a minute, my sandwiches! Where’d they go?!
Pleakley: Oh, what a shame! We have hidden them in a place you’ll never ever find em!
Jumba: Yeah, not so tough without sandwiches, eh?
Reuben: Grrrr!! Meega, nala kweesta!!
Stitch: Gasp!
Chapter 7 ends
Reuben: Phew…man, my head feels screwed loose. What happened?
Stitch: Cousin…strong! Stronger than Stitch!
Reuben: Huh? What are you talking about? I was in a very brief food coma, and just needed a sandwich!
Pleakley: Take your sandwich and leave our eyes in peace!!
Jumba: I have never seen such strength before!
Reuben: Okay, seriously, what’s up with you guys? I was only asleep for like…at least 5 seconds!
Chapter 8 ends
Angel: Hmm~? Boojiboo~?
Stitch: Angel…Cousin Reuben strong! Stitch fooboo…
Angel: Awww, purrrr~ Angel and Boojiboo rest~?
Stitch: Ih, Boojiboo…
Reuben: Hey you two lovebirds, I brought you sandwiches! You like peanut butter or mayonnaise?
Angel: Grrrr, meega-o-itume!!
Reuben: Alright, both for me then!
Pooh (Coming Soon)
