Kermit
Intro
Kermit: Well, hi ho, fellow performer! What brings you to the Muppet Show?
Robo Fizz: I couldn’t help but notice your ratings are through the roof! What do you say we collaborate?
Robo Fizz: The Muppet Show AND Loo Loo Land! It’d be a blast, AND it’d pay well!
Kermit: Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to rub shoulders with another set of performers, so…I’ll accept your offer!
Kermit: Name’s Kermit the Frog, by the way! Glad to meet a friendly…person like yourself!
Robo Fizz: I’m the Robotic Fizzaroli, and you aren’t half bad either!
Chapter 1 begins
Fozzie Bear: Kermit, you’re bringing a clown on stage with you? But I thought I was the Clown!
Kermit: You’re a comedian, Fozzie, there’s a difference between a clown and a comedian.
Kermit: And besides, Fizzaroli said he doesn’t do jokes. They’re too “outdated” for him.
Fozzie: Well in that case, the show goes on for old Fozzie! Wokka wokka!
Chapter 1 ends
Robo Fizz: Isn’t this a treat! You’re actually pretty good at the banjo! Better than MY banjo player back home!
Kermit: Well, that’s very nice. Who are your fellow performers anyway? Where are they?
Robo Fizz: Oh, they’re back in Loo Loo Land, but it doesn’t really matter anyway, because they’re machines.
Kermit: Ah. Well, that explains a lot.
Chapter 2 ends
Gonzo: Uhh…Mr. Fizz, if I may ask, what kind of crazy stunts do you do besides those high jumps and flips?
Robo Fizz: Glad you asked! My best stunt yet was catching a bullet between my teeth from a meter away from my face while on fire!
Gonzo: That’s…uhh…wow…very impressive.
Chapter 3 ends
Robo Fizz: Say, who’s the drummer of your band of zoo animals here?
Animal: AN-I-MAL!! DRUMS GOOD!!
Kermit: There he is.
Robo Fizz: Ah, a walking drum set! Why didn’t I ever think of that? So convenient!
Animal: CRASH, CRASH, CRASH!!
Chapter 4 ends
Robo Fizz: Man, this show biz is makin me hungry! What’s cookin backstage?
Kermit: Let me go check.
Kermit: Hey, Swedish Chef! What are making for your next segment of the show?
Swedish Chef: Oh, I be servin de chicky chicky an servin the mershed pertaters!
Kermit: And for desert?
Swedish Chef: Ah! Permpkin pie and popcern! Poppty poppty popcern!
Robo Fizz: He sure is a mouthful, ain’t he?
Kermit: It’s a long story.
Chapter 5 ends
Bunsen: Well, aren’t you just the specimen? You seem more willing to be my test subject than Beaker here!
Beaker: Mimimi, mimimimi…
Robo Fizz: Why, of course, doc! Whatcha got for me?
Bunsen: I do have some edible paperclips I’ve modified since the last time Beaker tested them. His nose fell off!
Beaker: Mimimi…
Robo Fizz: Let me try a few then for ya, Doc!
Bunsen: Well, what’s the verdict?
Robo Fizz: his head falls off
Beaker: Mimimimimi?!
Bunsen: Oh goodness!
Robo Fizz: Hehehaha, that hit the spot! Almost lost my head!
Robo Fizz: he puts his head back on
Bunsen: How peculiar…!
Beaker: Mimi…
Chapter 6 ends
Miss Piggy: Kermie, this clown is making me feel uncomfortable!
Kermit: Oh, why is that, Miss Piggy?
Miss Piggy: Why? WHY?! His whole getup makes him look like a monster!
Miss Piggy: The long limbs, the killer glare, the TEETH!!
Kermit: But Piggy, I thought you were supposed to be known to have a killer glare!
Miss Piggy: Only when someone is taking MY spotlight! He dares out-glare moi?!
Kermit: Now now, Miss Piggy, it’s not like he’s stealing your act! He’s a new addition, get used to him!
Miss Piggy: He’d better not! I still have fans, and they’re WAITING!! Tell him not to hold up the show so long!
Kermit: Don’t worry, I’m the host here, he always seems to listen.
Chapter 7 ends
Kermit: Wow, this has turned out to be a wonderful show! Maybe you should be here again!
Robo Fizz: Of course! So many new people to explo-I mean perform alongside, better than Loo Loo Land, maybe!
Kermit: Well, whatever you think, you’re always welcome to-
Blitzo: Alright, you limp noodled pansy, show’s over!
Robo Fizz: Ahhh, fancy seeing you here again, Blitzo! A role just now opened up for a new clown now that I’m leaving!
Kermit: Umm…is this a friend of yours?
Blitzo: Stop talking smack, you spineless showboat, START DANCING!!
Robo Fizz: WOOOOHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!
Kermit: …oh, well…that’s one way to make a dramatic exit…!
Chapter 8 ends
Gonzo: Where’d he go, Kermit?
Kermit: I dunno, Gonzo. Judging by his exit, he’ll probably be gone for a long time.
Kermit: Well, it was nice knowing such an interesting fellow.
Fozzie: Kermit, Kermit! He left a note for you!
Kermit: Oh, thanks, Fozzie! Let’s see here…
Kermit: “Thanks for the collaboration. Now enjoy your half pay.”
Kermit: What does that mean?
Miss Piggy: Kermie!! There’s a pair of imps backstage asking for half of our earnings from the show!!
Kermit: Oh dear…
Fear (Coming Soon…)
